Feeling too Embarrassed to Tell Someone About the Pain

Eleanor Blanchard went to her family doctor for a routine checkup. She needed some refills of medications and blood work and wanted to discuss getting her IUD removed. She and her husband had been tossing around the idea of getting pregnant, and she wanted to be ready.

During the visit, she spoke about everything that she needed to talk about, except the most painful problem that she was having. She had a pap smear and an IUD removal, and when she squirmed in pain at each and every movement, she blamed her pain on the fact that she was nervous about getting the IUD removed. It was far from the truth.

She got a prescription for oral birth control until she and her husband were ready. Her other medications were filled, and she thanked the doctor and left. At the door, she stopped and wondered if she should go back inside and tell the truth about her problems.

A week later, she sat back and prepared for the Botox on her chin, forehead, and lip lines. She had been getting Botox for three years and looked forward to it each time. The aesthetician that did the procedure was professional and polite, unlike the one that had been there a year before. That girl had been shady, or at least that was what Eleanor believed today after everything that had happened.

Eleanor wondered what the pretty girl working on her face would think if she knew the entire truth. She wanted to tell her all the agony Eleanor was feeling. Maybe it would make her feel better, maybe it wouldn’t. She was too humiliated. She left the appointment feeling both rejuvenated and dejected. She should have told someone.

Another month passed, and Eleanor was in so much pain that she had no choice but to go to the emergency room. Instead of driving to the hospital closest to her, she drove another two hours to a sister hospital on the opposite side of the city. She checked herself in and waited.

A few hours later, she was brought back to a room and waited for the nurse to come to check on her.

Nurse Fillmore arrived, “Hello, Eleanor Blanchard. What seems to be the matter?”

“It’s my stomach,” said Eleanor calmly. “I had an IUD removed a few weeks ago, and my stomach and kidneys have been on fire over the last few weeks. I thought it would go away, but it hasn’t.”

“What kind of IUD did you have?”

“Mirena.”

“Why did you have it placed initially and why was it removed?”

“My husband and I weren’t ready for children. It was used for birth control. Lately, we’ve been thinking about increasing the size of our family.”

“Any chance you have endometriosis or a similar problem?”

Eleanor shook her head.

“Have you been using other protection? Could you be pregnant?”

“I’m on the second month of my oral contraceptives. I haven’t missed a day. My pain is really in my kidneys.”

“I will go tell the doctor, and he’ll stop by in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.”

Doctor York arrived and asked similar questions. Eleanor answered them the same as she had done before. Doctor York was young, attractive, and a man. Eleanor wished she had been assigned a female doctor. The exam was done, and Eleanor slightly exaggerated her stomach symptoms, especially on her right kidney. She was in pain; she just wasn’t being completely honest about its location. She wanted to check herself out of the hospital and never come back.

Doctor York said, “Let’s do an ultrasound on her pelvis and both kidneys. Let’s get a urine sample and some blood work. Let’s see if we’re dealing with a kidney stone or an infection.”

“Sounds great,” said Eleanor.

Twenty minutes later, Nurse Fillmore returned and drew the blood. Eleanor was allowed to go into the bathroom and provide a urine sample. She walked gingerly to the bathroom and back again, and her movements were filled with intense pain. She wasn’t faking that at all.

Another thirty minutes passed before the Ultrasound tech came in. Eleanor lifted her shirt, exposing her stomach. The tech started with the central lower part of her stomach. The first ultrasound took the longest, and extreme discomfort was felt as she pushed the probe into her stomach.

The tech asked, “Does that hurt?”

Eleanor nodded. But the pain wasn’t in her stomach, but she refused to voice that fact.

The kidneys were checked next. Thankfully, she felt less pain during these tests. As the tech was leaving, she said, “Hope you fill better.”

Eleanor smiled.

An hour later, Eleanor was starting to feel nervous about her complicity in the tests that were run. She knew they would all come back normal, and she was too afraid to explain the real problem. She stood and started getting dressed. There was a knock at the door.

“Just a minute,” said Eleanor, and she tore off her jeans, causing even more pain, and jumped back into bed. Her eyes filled with tears due to the pain. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried settling her nerves. Finally, she said, “Come in.”

Doctor York, Nurse Fillmore, and two other people in white coats entered the room. Both were also male, young, and wide-eyed.

“Hello, Mrs. Blanchard. I’ve asked Doctors Calder and Avery to accompany me.”

“Okay,” said Eleanor. “Is there something wrong?”

“Not really. Both are students, and you’re a slightly unusual case.”

“Unusual?” replied Eleanor.

 “You’re reporting some pain in the pelvic area and the kidneys. The tech noticed how much pain you were in during the ultrasound.”

“I was just uncomfortable.” She glanced around the room. “Was there a problem?”

“The ultrasounds of your bladder, ovaries, and kidneys were completely normal. The urine doesn’t show any infection. You have no kidney stones, and it doesn’t appear you have a kidney infection.”

“That’s a relief.”

“But,” said Doctor York emphatically. “Your blood work showed that you likely have a serious infection. Your white count is really high.”

“What does white count mean?”

“It is one of the blood tests we do, and in this case, it shows a possible infection. It isn’t just a little high, but extremely high. We’re just a little confused that we might be missing something. Do you have any problems with diarrhea, sweats, hot or cold flashes, breathing issues, or anything else? Have you ever had your gallbladder removed?”

“No…” Eleanor said hesitantly. She felt all the eyes of the room were on her, and she suddenly burst into tears.

Nurse Fillmore came and sat on the edge of the bed. She tried consoling Eleanor but was shocked at the response.

Eleanor cried for another few minutes. Once she had recovered, she muttered, “I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.”

“Mistake,” said Doctor York. “What do you mean?”

“I get Botox every three or four weeks.”

“I don’t think Botox caused whatever is happening,” said Nurse Filmore kindly, squeezing her hand.

“I know. But I was talking with the girl helping me with my Botox one day. I told her that I wanted butt injections to give me a lift. I had looked into it before, but it was so expensive. She said she knew someone who could help, and the cost would be way less.”

“Go on,” said Doctor York.

“She introduced me to a friend of a friend. He said that he had cutting-edge technology and that monthly injections would provide all that I would need.”

“How long ago did this start?”

“One year.”

Nurse Fillmore asked, “How much pain are you in?”

“Significant,” said Eleanor refusing to look at anyone else in the room. “The injections started out fine. I was told that they would be silicone. The first three were perfect, and I loved how they looked, but after a few more months, they started to shrink a little. I called them back and scheduled some more injections.”

Doctor York asked, “What did they say when you called them back?”

“That silicone injections can settle a little, like the foundation of a house. But on the next few sets of injections, my body reacted badly, and I started having some redness, and pain, and it wasn’t as smooth as it was before.”

“How long ago was that?” asked Nurse Fillmore

“Six months.”

“You’ve been in pain for six months.”

“The last three have been the worst.”

“Can we take a look?” asked Doctor York.

“I’m so embarrassed with how it looks.”

Nurse Fillmore helped Eleanor stand. “Don’t worry about a thing, hun.”

The room became dead quiet as Eleanor showed her backside. She had bruising, redness, and the skin was warm to the touch. The left side was worse than the right, but both sides had significant problems.

“Well,” said Doctor York. “I think we know why your blood work was so abnormal.”

“Do you think an antibiotic will help?” asked Eleanor.

“Honestly. You’re going to need a lot more than an antibiotic. Those implants, or whatever was placed into your buttocks, will need to be removed. You’re going to need surgery and be admitted to the hospital.”

“My husband is going to kill me. He loved the idea initially of the butt lift, but he told me to stop going back. I wished I’d listened.”

The surgery took eight hours. In addition to the silicone implant removal, some of the dead tissue was also removed. There was infection and hardening of some of the tissue. The process was not pretty. The wounds were kept open for a few days, and a wound vac was used to clean out most of the infection. Eleanor was on IV antibiotics for three weeks.

Five days after the initial surgery, Eleanor had a second surgery to clean out more dead tissue. There had been some healing, and the wound was approved to be closed at that point. Two weeks later, she was discharged home with strict instructions to avoid lifting and moving too much.

It took Eleanor several months to completely heal from the ordeal of infection, surgery, and removal of the implants. She lost a lot of blood, and the surgery to fix things was done as best as they could, but the scars would remain forever. However, she was lucky to have survived. She later learned that other women had done similar things and had a far less favorable outcome. She learned that feeling embarrassed was far better than feeling that sick.

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